“Stop,” Madelyn tells Amahle. “Stop with the music! Stop with the panic! Stop!”
Amahle looks desperate and the distant drumming doesn’t stop. “It is how I feel. I can’t help it.”
“I do not care how you feel,” Madelyn tells her. “I only care about you.”
I look at Suzy, who I’m sure did not like that statement one bit. She is shaking her head, and looking at the two. I think they’ve forgotten we’re right here on the porch.
“Whatever you are feeling, it is not harder than to lose both your legs. That happened to me and I recovered, because I forced myself. You are safe here, with me. You are safe here, in a dream. Whatever it is, force yourself.”
“I don’t believe in ignoring…” Amahle begins forcefully, but then trails off.
The drumbeats begin to die down, as if they’re getting farther and farther away.
“How do you swim without legs?” Amahle asks.
Madelyn smiles. “How do you know you need legs if you never, uh, swimmed?”
Amahle smiles and a soft violin plays in the background. “I remember when I was six, my mother took me to the beach. She held my hand and I went into the water. I remember the water at my feet. I remember the sand under my toes. I remember the soft waves climbing up my legs as we took another step and another step.”
Madelyn nods and smiles as she listens.
“And I remember that she held me. She put one arm under my neck and back, one arm under my back lower down, and raised me. And I remember floating on my back on the water. It was so nice. It was so peaceful. I felt I was flying.”
“That is amazing!”
“And then, for some reason a big wave came when she wasn’t looking, and it tore me away from her and flipped me in the water a few times.” The violin music becomes violent and full of fear. “I was flailing with both my arms and legs, so sure I had been swept into the sea! And then there was air, and I screamed ‘Help! Help!’ and another wave crashed on me and I flipped again.”
The music crescendos with fear. “And I yelled ‘Help! Help!’ again. And then someone next to me said, ‘Just stand up’.”
Amahle takes a deep breath and continues. “So I stood up and it turned out the water was quite shallow. I shouted for my mother and she came running and led me back to the beach.” The music dies down. “I never went into the sea again. I never went into a pool.”
“Okay. Okay. So now there are no waves in this dream. I will not cause waves and you will not cause waves. And here in the dream, you cannot drown. And I will hold you like your mother. Shall we try?”
Amahle gives a tentative smile.
(To be continued…)
—Told by Grampa Walt