‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#6: Joy's First Dress

It was a battle with killer robots, and Dragon Little (Joy) was wearing a dress.

Up until that day, Dragon Father had created clothes for Dragon Little that were more like his own: Pants, shirt, shoes, and a diaper that Dragon Little was still wearing.

This time was different. Today Dragon Father dressed Dragon Little in a dress. She did not find it at all comfortable. Perhaps he had seen a baby girl in a dress back in the waking world, and now that image was in his dream.  

Two hours had passed since he had appeared on Bonny’s Revenge’s deck, and now they were in the middle of an adventure. They were on an alien planet, on the roof of a palace. Surrounded by killer robots.

All Dragon Father and Dragon Little had to defend themselves with was a big laser pistol, held by Dragon Father, and a tiny laser pistol, held by Dragon Little.

This was the time that Dragon Little decided she needed to prepare for battle, which meant getting rid of the dress. She put the laser pistol on the floor, wrestled with the dress, and took it off, leaving only the diaper.

Dragon Father looked at her while shooting robots. “What are you doing? Put it back on!”

“No!”

“Put your dress back on!” He shot at two more killer robots, but missed.

“No!”

“You can’t fight evil robots with just a diaper! Put it back on!”

Joy took her dress and threw it off the roof.

A killer robot incinerated the dress on its way down. The killer robots were now firing at them from all sides.

“Ahhhhh!” Dragon Father screamed in frustration and all the killer robots froze in place. Such ist the power of a Dreamer.

Dragon Father walked towards Joy, my Dragon Little, with big, angry steps.

“Put the dress!” he shouted, and in his hands was another dress, exactly like the one that had been incinerated, “Back! On!”

Dragon Little raised her small laser gun and shot the dress, creating a huge, fiery hole in it.

Dragon Father’s mouth fell open. Dragon Little made a defiant face.

Dragon Father raised his voice, “These robots are going! To kill! Us! Get dressed!”

Dragon Little fell forward, lay on the floor in defiance and buried her head. “No no no no no no!”

“If you don’t put it back on, then we can’t fight! There’s use in fighting! We’re just going back home!”

Dragon Little shrugged. “No no no no no no no!”

Dragon Father stomped his legs, but then said, “Okay. We’re going home!” He waved his hand, and the killer robots all vanished. He waved another hand, and a sudden gust of powerful win blew in Bonny’s Revenge’s saild, making it fly towards them.  

They climbed aboard their pirate ship. The both of them sulked the rest of the day and no other villains appeared.

—Told by The Red Dragon


Watch how I came up with the idea for this post:




#7: Cursing

#5: Back When Justin Thought Squashbuckling Was Cute