‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#326: Joy’s Fourth Birthday, Part 8: The Lesson

Dragon Father had flown with a jetpack to Bonny’s Revenge, parked high above the base of the Martian Space Pirates. 

He navigated the ship down to the Martian earth, where Dragon Little and the handcuffed Martian Space Pirates waited for them.

Dragon Little, only four years old, danced a little dance. “I win! And you lose! I win and you lose!” 

Dragon Father glowered at her, leaning over the railing. “Joy, that is inappropriate behavior!” 

She looked up at him, was silent for a second after listening to him, then began to dance again, “I win and you lose!” 

Dragon Father made a face. He lowered the rope ladder. 

“I win and you lose! I win and you lose! Ha ha ha!” 

Dragon Father shouted from above, “Joy, we never ever gloat! Never! And we never get cocky! And we never say we won before we won!” 

“I win and you lose!” she continued to dance. “I win and you lose!” 

Dragon Father leapt off the deck of the ship, somersaulted twice in the air and landed next to his daughter. 

“Joy, we don’t say we won until we won.” 

“But we won! Look!” she pointed at them. 

He made a face again. “No, we didn’t.” He turned to face the pirates. “Martian Space Pirates, we apologize for this behavior. We did not mean to gloat. We will now release you to make up for it.” 

“What!” Dragon Little was livid. 

Dragon Father pulled his sword out of his scabbard and in one swift movement he cut all of the pirates’ handcuffs. “You are free to go!” 

“No!” Dragon Little shouted. 

The Martian Space Pirates looked at each other and sprinted away. 

“What did you do?! Let’s get after them! Let’s get them!” 

She began to run, but Dragon Father put his hand on her shoulders. “No. When we gloat, we lose.” 

“We didn’t lose!” 

“Joy, when we gloat, we lose. You gloated and we lost. Let’s accept the loss and go back home.” 

“But--” 

But this time Dragon Little was not able to win an argument or sway Dragon Father. He took her in his arms, climbed the rope ladder, and helmed Bonny’s Revenge away from Mars. 

Dragon Little sulked all day, and Dragon Father let her.

And that ist how Dragon Little spent her fourth birthday.

—Told by The Red Dragon

#327: The Red Dragon’s Wail

#325: Joy's Fourth Birthday, Part 7: Joy's Solo Adventure