‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#8: The Secret Weapon

There are only a few times a year when I think Dragon Father and Dragon Little need my help. Dragon Father fights well in his Dream, as does Dragon Little. But, of course, the fact that it is his dream protects Dragon Little from harm almost always, as the dream bends so as not to hurt her.

But sometimes the dream gets so bad and out of control that I consider leaping out of my hiding place and helping them.

When Joy, whom I lovingly call Dragon Little, was two years olds and not yet potty trained, Dragon Father and Dragon Little had lost their weapons, were outgunned and surrounded by the Evil Forest Fairies who were about to attack.

If I were to emerge now, I would be able to save them and disperse the fairies with my sheer speed and size. But then Dragon Father made me hesitate.

He was looking at Dragon Little’s eyes, and could see she was about to pee in her diaper.

“Wait, wait, Joy,” he whispered. He took off her diaper as quickly as possible, then took her by the armpits.

“You want her?” he told the Evil Forest Fairy King. “Here, take her.”


“Don’t worry, Joy, it’ll be fine.”

The Fairy King took her in his hands. “Victory is--” he began to say, as suddenly a whiz of pee sprayed on his face. “Ahhhh!”

The Fairy King fell to his knees, screaming, letting Dragon Little down easily and releasing her. Dragon Father grabbed the Fairy King’s sword from its scabbard and raged into the army of fairies.

The day would soon be won, and there had been no need for me to come out of my hiding and face my fears.

—Told by The Red Dragon

Watch how I came up with the idea for this post:

#9: Understanding the Evil Forest Fairy King

#7: Cursing