‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#369: Life and Death, Part 2: Pain and Worry

“Ow! Ow!” Dragon Father grabbed his left leg as he and Dragon Little came out of the marsh. 

“What’s the matter?” Dragon Little and Dragon Father were both drenched in mud from top to bottom. 

Except for one nightmare, in the time I had been in Dragon Father’s dream, I had never seen him feel pain that hinders him. Dreamers do not feel pain if they do not want to. 

I did not yet know that in this adventure Dragon Father’s subconscious wanted to teach Dragon Little to kill. But my senses were now alert that something different would happen. 

“I can’t walk,” Dragon Father said. “You go on without me. Save the goblins!” 

“I’m not going without you!” she tried to push him forward with her small body. There was deep concern in her voice. 

“Joy! There are goblin kids being attacked now in the village over there! You have to save them!” 

She looked at the village then at her father. 

She touched his leg. “Can I make it better?” 

He shook his head. “It’ll be better in time. There’s nothing you can do. Joy, the goblin kids!” 

But Dragon Little was not looking at the village. She looked at his leg and at him and began to cry. 

It was then that I realized that she did not know real pain. She did not know pain of her own and she had never seen her father so vulnerable and hurt. Perhaps she even thought he might die, since she had no experience with this.

Dragon Father made a face and almost cried himself .”Look at me. Look at me. It’s not really bad. I think I can waddle. Just… let me lean on…” A big stick appeared in his hands. “There we go.” He used it to lean on his left leg. “See? Everything’s fine. Tomorrow my leg will be fine.” 

She was still crying. “Look at me. Do you believe me? I’m okay.” 

She nodded and wiped away the tears. 

“Shall we go get the bad guys?” 

She nodded. 

“Let’s kick goblin ass!” 

He laughed, then said, “Joy! We don’t talk like to--Ah, hell, let’s just go. As fast as we can.” 

They headed for the village, where he would teach Dragon Little to kill. 

—Told by The Red Dragon

#370: Life and Death, Part 3: The Goblin Monster

#368: Life and Death, Part 1