‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#333: The Day the Red Dragon Did Not Care

Dragon Little’s fourth birthday was over, and when it ended, thoughts entered my mind. 

These were thoughts I did not care about, but they came. 

I thought of my own birthdays… of my fourth birthday, so many centuries ago. I thought of how I had been a slave, how, at this stage, while I was still… pliable… the evil ones had me do their bidding by hurting me and hurting me and hurting me. 

There were so many years of pain in those first few years. Pain when I was just a few weeks old, a few months old. At an age when no one should feel pain. 

I sunk into my thoughts and pain. I let my tears fall but stopped the sobbing for fear it will get attention outside of Dragon Father’s dream. 

I raised my eyes. Dragon Little and Dragon Father were battling a new villain on a cliff. 

I did not care. 

A villain raised Dragon Little and threw her over the cliff. 

I sighed. I did not care. Not now. Not in those few seconds. I was not her protector now. I was just feeling eternally, endlessly sad.

I thought of my first years, my formative years. I will never forget them. I was so innocent and constantly thrust into pain. 

Even centuries ago, they had already set up a system so efficient in catching newborn dragons and enslaving them and causing them pain, that, years later, when the dragons are fully grown and powerful, they are still weak for fear of future pain. 

Fully grown dragons can’t be hurt as easily, I have learned now. But enslaved I did not know that. Enslaved, I was in constant fear of the pain they could still cause. 

And so they controlled me. Those evil… evil… evil creatures.

I looked up. Dragon Little and Dragon Father were weaponless and surrounded by an army of villains. 

Pah! Those villains aren’t evil! They’re stupid creations created by Dragon Father - No, today I’ll call him Justin and her Joy. They villains are just simple foes created by a man who feels like a hero. There ist no real evil here. 

I looked away. I was not going to even consider helping them. Not today. I did not care that day. 

In my mind I played those first few years of mine again and again and again…

And the day passed and my sadness grew. 

And Justin disappeared to his waking world, and Joy imprisoned the villain in the Infinite Prison and went to sleep. 

I did not sleep. I could not climb out of my memories and sadness for a few days. 

Yes, I am sorry to admit to you that it took me days to return to myself, to return to care for my Dragon Little and what became of her. 

Because in those few days I knew that Joy would not survive long. She would never survive a few years outside her father’s dream. And during those few days I did not care, and I did not care to care.

—Told by The Red Dragon

#334: Bored, Part 1

#332: Joy’s Secret Protector