‘The Squashbuckler Diaries’ are the daily tales of Joy Shelley’s Life in the Dream. The ‘Lost in Dreams’ books will tell the story of what happens to her at ages 6, 9, 12, 15, and so on. The diaries tell us what happens before, after, and between the books.

#373: Life and Death, Part 6: Back to Killing

(Author’s note: This diary entry was supposed to have been published weeks ago as part of the Goblin Monster saga and was omitted for some reason. I publish it here, now, numbered correctly, but out of order.)

The goblin monster was back to chasing the goblin children, ready to kill them as had killed all the goblins strewn in the street. 

Dragon Little put the huge rocket launcher back on her shoulder. She aimed it at the goblin monster and breathed. 

She placed her finger on the trigger. 

She was aiming right at its center. 

The goblin monster was in the middle of the village now. With one swing of his arm, he destroyed a wooden hut, revealing three cowering goblin children.  

She breathed. 

And then… she did nothing. 

The goblin kids began to run, but the goblin monster blocked the way out of their broken hut.

“I can’t do it, Dad!” she shouted back at him, where he was hiding wounded in the woods. 

“I know it’s hard, Joy! You’ve seen me kill villains before!”

She breathed out and looked at the goblin monster grab one of the children.

“Can’t you do it! There has to be another way!” 

“There’s no time for anything else!”

The goblin monster grabbed another goblin child with his second hand. 

Dragon Little’s hand holding the rocket launcher began to tremble.

She didn’t fire. Instead, she yelled, “Killing is wrong, Dad! It’s wrong!” 

“Killing children is wrong, Joy! It’s wrong!” 

I could feel her soul being torn between her stark morals and the reality of her life, full of villains and adventure. I felt for her, but the cruel thing her father was putting her through was the kindest: Whether he knew it or not, it would save her life outside his dream. 

The goblin monster brought the goblin kids to his mouth.

“We can kill killers!” Dragon Father shouted. “It’s okay!” 

The goblin monster opened his mouth wide.

“You have to do i--” 

Dragon Father did not need to finish the sentence. Dragon Little pressed the trigger. 

The missile flew from the rocket launcher in a straight line and struck the goblin monster in the stomach. 

The goblin monster’s body exploded. 

The goblin children he held fell on the ground hard, but were fine. 

Dragon Little dropped the rocket launcher and walked towards her father. 

He had taken only a few steps out of the woods when she reached him. She fell into him, hugging him, and began to cry. 

He held her tight. 

“I know, Joy. I know it’s hard,” he said softly. “But it’s necessary.” 

The way he said that last sentence raised my hackles. 

Did he know? Did he know what was looking for Dragon Little outside this dream? 

Dragon Father turned around and put his hand on Dragon Little’ back, about to lead her back to Bonny’s Revenge. He had gotten what he had wanted. It was clear he thought the adventure was over. 

But it was not at all over. Dragon Little was not yet done with this adventure. 

Tomorrow I will tell you what she did next.

—Told by The Red Dragon


#387: The Two Killers, Part 2

#386: The Two Killers, Part 1